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Pie-Faced
By Gersh Kuntzman
Newsweek, April 25, 2005

Why throwing a pie at someone who deserves it is one of the most celebrated traditions in our so-called culture.

April 18 - The schedule of lecturers on college campuses around the country has begun reading like the police blotter: Conservative author Ann Coulter—hit by a pie tossed by two attackers last year. Conservative editor William Kristol—hit by an ice cream pie at a Quaker college in Indiana in March. Really conservative guy Pat Buchanan hit by salad dressing two days later. Liberal-turned-conservative author David Horowitz—hit by a chocolate cream pie a few days after that.

It’s disgusting, isn’t it? The salad dressing, I mean. Everyone knows that salad dressing is simply not an effective medium for expressing dissent. But pie on the other hand…

The last few days have seen the predictable lament that the pie-throwers represent the worst thing about democracy—people so inarticulate that the only way they can counter such toxic thinkers as Coulter is to seize the moral low ground by trying to curtail their free speech.

It’s disgusting, isn’t it? The salad dressing, I mean. Everyone knows that salad dressing is simply not an effective medium for expressing dissent. But pie on the other hand…

The last few days have seen the predictable lament that the pie-throwers represent the worst thing about democracy—people so inarticulate that the only way they can counter such toxic thinkers as Coulter is to seize the moral low ground by trying to curtail their free speech.

That is far too simple an argument. Throwing a pie at someone who deserves it is one of the most celebrated traditions in our so-called culture. History tells us that the ancient Egyptians invented the pie—a mix of honey and nuts in a pastry filling. Still, there is no recorded case of an ancient Egyptian throwing one at another ancient Egyptian (although you’re not going to tell me that Rameses didn’t deserve it!).

As such, the tradition lay dormant for millennia—until it became institutionalized in the great slapstick films of the silent film era. Mack Sennett may have started it, but the art reached its apotheosis in Laurel & Hardy’s 1927 short film, "Battle of the Century." Four thousand pies were harmed in the making of that movie. Encouraged by Laurel & Hardy’s success, pie-throwing remained a mainstay of slapstick through the Marx Brothers, Three Stooges, Jerry Lewis and Soupy Sales eras, and even survived being overused by TV sit-com legend Garry Marshall. "It’s the essence of slapstick—the guy who needs to have his dignity deflated gets hit with a pie," said Tom Raymond, also known as "Rainbow," a clown from Central Wisconsin ("I’m no expert. I’m just a clown").

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